


Angel Wings

by MerylAM573



Category: THE iDOLM@STER, The iDOLM@STER Sidem
Genre: Friendship, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Transphobia, mentions of multiple other idols, nb producer uwu
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-18
Updated: 2019-05-18
Packaged: 2020-03-07 03:14:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,735
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18864592
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MerylAM573/pseuds/MerylAM573
Summary: Touma is forced out of the closet when he defends his friend Ryo when he's harrassed for being transgender. This results in him having a panic attack and being unable to ground himself properly. Will Ryo be able to help him feel better? Can his wings carry his friend to safety? Or is Touma's sadness just too heavy?"Like I said, I care a lot about you."





	Angel Wings

**Author's Note:**

> OKAY!!!!!! FIRST OFF I HC QUITE A FEW SIDEM BOYS AS TRANS I HOPE THATS OKAY!!!! i did my best aaaa

Touma sat on a couch backstage, sobbing uncontrollably. Why? He just had to out himself to thousands of people because somebody was harassing Ryo for being transgender at a mini fan meet after a concert. If they were harrassing Ryo, they were harrassing him, Kyosuke, and Shiki as well. Touma was the only one Shiki was out to besides his unit mates, and Kyosuke was out and proud, but not to the fans just yet. So he couldn't stand by! ...But it resulted in him having a panic attack after. The Producer was able to ground him again, but he'd still be crying for a long time. Now they were getting him some water.

He heard the door open and looked up to see Ryo in front of him, his face red and eyes puffy. Had he been crying too? The 15 year old waved.  
"Hey... are you okay? I'm sorry for making you out yourself there. Is... is that still a sore topic?" He panicked when he saw Touma simply crying even harder.  
"I'm so sorry. I was kinda afraid this would happen..." Ryo trailed off and sat next to the 17 year old.

Suddenly, he felt arms wrap around him.  
"Touma?" He sat stunned for a moment, before slowly and hesitantly hugging Touma back. He heard the 17 year old's sobs in his ears and his heart broke. Ryo had never heard Touma cry before, let alone this intensely. It was... kind of scary, in a way. In the span of a few moments, Ryo's eyes filled with tears too. He recalled the fresh memory once again, the yelling, the slurs said, Touma almost hitting the one harrassing his friend after he called Touma the f slur and both of them the t slur.

In fact, the slurs were the reason Touma had a panic attack in the first place. Producer dragged him backstage and sat him down, and swiftly he was unable to breathe properly. It hurt. It felt like he was about to die and he wanted to run away, but his legs went numb and he couldnt move. He felt so trapped. But Producer was able to calm him down eventually. Their voice was soothing and warm, its quietness and whispery tone made him feel so at home.

The door opened yet again, this time Producer entered with bottles of water. They were a little out of breath.  
"Producer!" Ryo's voice cracked as he looked up. They passed a bottle to each of them.  
"Are you both okay? I'm so sorry this happened. That was not okay in any right. But Touma, I know you're still very upset, but can you try a little harder with managing your anger in these situations? If I wasn't there to hold you back, a fight might have broken out." Touma simply nodded at their request.  
"Thank you. Whenever you're both ready, we're all heading back to the office. If you'd like to go home from there, that's alright." Producer's smile was even sweeter than their voice. It was almost motherly in a way.

The ride back to the office was a very bitter one. Since everyone obviously couldn't fit into the one car, some units split up. F-LAGS and Jupiter were together in one car. Nobody had ever seen Hokuto so angry in his life.  
"Excuse my foul language but what the fuck?! That's- that's not okay! What the actual-" Suddenly the 20 year old buried his face in his hands and groaned loudly.  
"I'm sorry. I'm not making this any better, am I?" He sighed, trying to keep himself from shouting so Touma didn't have a second panic attack.  
"I think it's okay to be angry. To be fair, I'm fuming. Some people are just more outward about it than others are." Producer reassured him, giving him a quick glance.  
"That's reassuring..."

Once everybody arrived back at the office, Shouta pushed past everyone, and snatched a pillow off of the couch, screaming into it.  
"Can I swear just this once? Like, just once?" He asked, his voice so much deeper than before. Hokuto nodded simply, and the 14 year old let out the loudest F-Bomb he possibly could, before bitterly shouting into the pillow again. Ken walked into the lobby area and stared at Shouta with a confused expression.  
"Is everything okay?" He asked, Producer shook their head as everyone entered. Some didn't know what happened, and others did. Kazuki and Daigo were the calmest out of everyone, so they explained the situation as best they could.

This entire time, Touma had stayed silent. He didn't want to talk. He shouldn't talk. Most everyone showed worry for him, but he still never said a word. That was until Ryo had gone back over to him to see how he was doing.  
"Are you doing any better?" The 15 year old asked. Touma shook his head, and felt Ryo grab onto his hand. Before he knew it, he was being led outside. He couldn't help but feel really confused.  
"Why did you...?"  
"Ah! You talked! I did it! I got you to say something!"  
"Wh-" Was Ryo trying to get Touma to talk so he could cheer him up? He didn't understand! Why? Why would he do that?  
"I saw you wouldn't talk ever since all that happened earlier, and I was kinda worried!" The 15 year old explained.  
"I didn't know if you lost your voice or were too sad to talk so..." He trailed off, hoping Touma could figure out the rest on his own.

Figuring out what Ryo wanted to say was easy enough, but Touma still didn't understand why he wanted to in the first place if he was being so difficult.  
"Why do you care?" Touma snapped.  
"Do I need a reason?" Ryo asked. The only reply he got was a sad groan.  
"I know you don't feel like you deserve it, but you do. I care because I think you deserve it. Whether you do in your eyes doesn't matter to me. The Touma I know has grown from the one he was before. The Touma I know has learned from his mistakes." Ryo smiled warmly. It hurt so bad.  
"I didn't learn anything! I didn't change! I'm still the same jerk as before! I'm no different!" Tears began streaming down Touma's face once again. Ryo's smile didn't change. He would reassure his friend over and over again. He didn't mind.  
"You know what?" The 17 year old tensed up.  
"Get out." He looked so angry now. Now Ryo's expression changed into one that was stern but understanding.

"No." Ryo knew Touma was spiralling. Any other time if he needed space, he'd give it. Now? He couldn't. Touma was pushing him away.  
"You're spiralling. Take a deep breath. I'm not leaving if you're like this." The 17 year old did what he was told. He didn't realize just how hard it was to breathe properly, he had been hiccupping every few seconds from all the crying. He didn't even notice it!  
"...Why are you still doing this?" Touma spoke up again.  
"Like I said, I care a lot about you. Even if you don't think you deserve it. The Touma I know is different from the one you feel you are. Kazuki tells me all the time that we're our own harshest critic." His smile returned, and this time it felt nice to see.  
"You took me under your wing and gave me one of your old binders when I realized mine didn't fit me anymore, you were waiting for me after I got my top surgery just to congratulate me, and you fought off a transphobe for not only just me, but so many other trans idols and people in general who are afraid to come out because of people like them!" Ryo raised his arms in the air, flailing them around. It was kind of cute in a way.

Maybe Ryo was right. Maybe Touma really was deserving of love, even if just a little. It made him happy to have someone that cared for him like this. He spent most of his time caring for others whenever he could and being a mentor, especially to the other trans idols in 315Pro, that he never gave that to himself. He sighed and suddenly embraced Ryo again. Immediately the 15 year old hugged back, holding his friend tight.  
"Thank you." He said softly, his voice still shaky.  
"No problem! ...Do you wanna go back out when you're ready?" Ryo asked.  
"Sure. But... I wanna stay like this for a little longer."  
"Sure thing, Touma!"

When the two had returned, Teru and Pierre immediately went up to them.  
"Touma! Ryo! We have poncho! Kuro and Natsuki got too warm, you want to wearing them?" Pierre exclaimed, pointing to the group behind him. The two simply nodded.  
"Before you do that, though..." Teru spoke up. Ryo tilted his head a little, confused.  
"You guys aren't alone in this either."  
"What do you mean?" Now Touma tilted his head.  
"I'm the same as you guys." The 28 year old said with a slight laugh. Teru was transgender too? That was kind of relieving in a way that they had another person who understood just how much this hurt. They had plenty as is, but it was still reassuring.  
"I am off the binary! Minori is too! Do we count too?" Pierre asked.  
"Hell yeah!" Touma replied with a laugh. Of course they count!  
"We wear poncho together now? Come on!" Suddenly the other 15 year old grabbed onto the hands of his friends and dragged them to everyone else as Teru followed behind.

Even though things went horribly wrong today, it felt a little worth it in the end. Most of 315Pro stayed at the office until late, having fun and doing shuffle karaoke together. Touma and Ryo did a duet of "♡Cupids!" together, so they decided if they were a real unit, they'd be called Angel Wings. That name held a lot of meaning to the both of them. To Ryo, Touma was the guardian angel that chose him to take under his wing. To Touma, Ryo was the feathered wings that would lift him up no matter what may occur. The two carried each other along.

They could do anything, as long as they had each other.

**Author's Note:**

> im the most nervous about sharing this one ngl. but hey at least i get my tou+ryo friendship content even if i gotta make it myself agshbdbsbsbs
> 
> w o r t h i t .
> 
> EDIT: so i accidentally said yusuke in the first paragraph when i meant kyosuke so i fixed it whoops


End file.
